Self-esteem and Women

 

Isaiah McLean www.unsplash.com

Self-esteem is the degree to which one feels confident, valuable, and worthy of respect. A person with self-esteem sees herself as competent to experience the challenges of life and as worthy of happiness (Nathaniel Branden).  A woman’s self-esteem can be affected by her upbringing, the culture that she grew up in and her self-talk.  This means that a girl who grows up in a family or culture where women are seen as inferior may inadvertently develop a low self-esteem.  It’s been proven by psychologists that for girls, their self-esteem decreases in their teenage years compared to boys.  This is because girls tend to compare themselves to their peers and fall short of their sometimes frivolous expectations.  Their constant comparison to others and falling short, results in them dwelling in negativity more than boys their age.  The girls become more cautious and unwilling to take risks or step out of their comfort zones.  Another reason for their low self-esteem is, girls tend to be rewarded for perfectionistic tendencies and are unwilling to try out new activities that they may not be good at.  These teenage tendencies of perfectionism and ingirls has an adverse impact on them when they become women.

As a teenager, I suffered from low self-esteem.  I had a problem believing in my abilities and I always doubted myself.  I was scared of speaking up in class and taking on challenges because I was afraid of failure.  I preferred to do the things that I was good at.  I also spent a lot of time berating myself for my mistakes which resulted in a negative mindset and self- image.  I preferred looking at the glass as half empty so that if things didn’t work out like I had planned then I would not be too disappointed.  I wasn’t willing to take the risk of charting new paths or coloring outside the lines.  This way of thinking hurt me when I joined the university.  It was a new environment for me and I had to learn how to navigate university life, make new friends, take tougher classes etc.  Thankfully, I loved the university experience and my self-esteem shot up as a result.  I began to speak up in classes, participate in extra-curricular activities and take up challenging tasks that forced me out of my comfort zone.  This in turn, made me more self-confident.

Self-esteem and self-confidence are intertwined because a person with a low self-esteem will usually have low self-confidence.  A woman with low regard for herself will perceive herself as lacking the ability to face challenges and conquer them.  The ability to believe that you can face challenges and conquer them is called self-confidence.

The modern day workplace tends to reward people who take risks, are innovative and bounce back from their failures.  A woman who has grown up with a low self-esteem will have a problem with all three of these.  She may be innovative and be a master at finding solutions to problems but if she lacks the confidence to speak up and push her ideas forward, her innovations will go unnoticed by the decision makers and she may never receive the credit that she deserves.

She may also be afraid of taking risks because of her fear of failure.  Taking calculated risks is a major component of progressing at work.  Being a successful risk-taker, can result in huge rewards for the company and for the risk-taker.  A woman with low self-esteem will be more inclined to fear the consequences of failure rather than consider the rewards of taking the risk.  She will also have a challenge bouncing back from failure because she will take the failure personally.  She will be ashamed of her failure and beat herself up instead of patting herself on the back for daring to take a risk.  She may also compare herself to others more successful than herself and assume that they have never failed without realizing that success often comes after failure.

A low self-esteem is detrimental to any woman who wants to rise to the top of her career and live a full life.  It is imperative that women learn how to grow their self-esteem if they feel that they suffer from a lack of it. 

Some ways of growing your self-esteem include:

1.    Practicing positivity – being intentional about thinking positive thoughts about yourself and the environment that you work in.  When challenges arise, decide to tackle them with a positive attitude.

2.    Trusting yourself – believe that you have the ability to do whatever it is that you set your mind to do and succeed at it.

3.    Do not compare yourself to others – believe in your worth and work hard to reach your goals.  Stop comparing yourself to your colleagues and focus on achieving your success however you define it to be.

4.    Forget the past – move on from past failures and disappointments.  Take the lessons learned from those experiences and implement them in your work.

5.    Acknowledge compliments – when your supervisor or your colleagues compliment you for a job well done, accept the compliment; do not deflect it by using terms like “it was beginner’s luck.”

6.    Help others – when you take the attention off yourself and go out of your way to help others especially those that are less fortunate than yourself, you will boost your morale from seeing others succeed because of your help.

A high self-esteem is imperative in succeeding not only in our careers but in life as well.  It is crucial that we grow our self-esteem, so that we can pursue and achieve our goals and our life’s purpose.  This is how we will make a positive impact on those that are around us.